The Santarchy group posted the first meeting spot the day before the event in hopes of eluding the police. We ended up starting in Jack London Square waiting for the two Ferry's of Santas arriving from San Francisco, Embarcadero Center. With the 150 Santas waiting, I estimate at least 400 Santas, and seeing as how most were Burning Man alumni, the Santa costumes were racy, irreverent, tame, nasty, scary, cute, sexy and everywhere on the weird spectrum...
The first stop was the BevMo (for those that are unfamiliar, BevMo is Beverages and More, think Costco for Booze). As Rusty and I passed the BevMo, it was clear the staff was in full crisis mode. I'm sure more than one liquor sales representative threw in the towel and quit that day. Santas were congregated out front in mass and lined up two fold down every aisle. The best Santa ensemble, in my humble opinion, were the secret service elves following the "Santa/Frosty '08" Presidential candidates. These elves never broke character and "protected" Santa at every venue, that's commitment!
We then went to a huge sports bar, large enough to house 400 crushed red velvet clad Santas. Rusty and I started talking to a group of women and realized soon into the conversation we were all expat Southerners. The bar was over run with thirsty Santas. Group think chants began to rise up from the throng, "Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho..." repeated ad infinitum. Candy canes and lollipops were continuously flying through the air, threatening to put out an eye. I was privileged to witness an elf spanking a bare assed chap clad Santa...an image forcing visions of sugar plums out of my head.
We had just gotten beers, when the call came, "Santas on the move". We marched next to the naughty portion of the tour. A look into an erotic store. I skipped the cramp confines favoring instead a brief respite in the winter sunshine of the East Bay. By this time, the San Francisco Santas were complaining loudly about the heat (all of 75 degrees) so the call came once again, "Santas on the move!" On the walk to the next bar, Rusty and I met two lovely Aussie Sheilas. It was fun to get the Aussie perspective of this pandemonium. I believe the word "Brilliant" was flung about with reckless abandon. We ended up at the Pacific Coast Brewing Company, your basic brew-pub. We sat on the patio, not even trying to get to the bar, drinking beers bought in stores and delis in the area. We also sang Christmas Carols out of the Santacon Songbook. These "traditional" songs with "non-traditional" lyrics brought a smile to many faces.
Soon Santa was on the move once again. Instructions were to hop on the BART and go to Downtown Berkley. A quick march around Martin Luther King park to watch Santas battle cardboard clad robots presented by the Society for Creative Anachronism, and back to the Jupiter for another sit down. By this time, many Santas were ending up sprawled on the sidewalk with other Santas vowing to care for them. The mood in this bar was decidedly more mellow as Santas were unwinding after a long day of merrimaking, booze drinking, and what I assume to be illicit substance use ( more than the scent of gingerbread was wafting through the air). Some Santas were also getting a bit belligerent. One particularly obnoxious Santa was eventually maced and the paramedics arrived. Talk about kharmic debt. We decided to say our good byes before things got too confrontational. Most Santas were headed back to Union Square in San Francisco for more anarchy but our fun was done.
We met up with a few Santas on the BART headed back to Jack London Square and decided one feels less a potential target of trouble when enmasse.
The day was, in the words of my Aussie mates, "Brilliant". The many smiles one garners from passers-by is worth the effort of donning fur lined red suits and marching around for a few hours. Kids and adults, homeless people and Mercedes driving housewives, gang-bangers and min-van occupants all honked, smiled or waved as the red sea of Santas passed in front of them. The collective absurdity helped people break down any pretenses. The mood was jovial with minor exceptions, for most of the day, and the rush of participating in an instant diverse but like minded community was addictive. I have a taste of what it must be like to participate in Transformus or Burning Man.
For me, it is often difficult to transition out of my desire for a Bohemian lifestyle back to the realities of a high pressure job and the responsibilities of day-to-day living. I do enjoy some parts of being an educator, but walking around with a bunch of Santas on a sunny California Saturday is akin to the proverbial "I'm gonna chuck it all in and live on the beach in Mexico for the rest of my life". I know I'll retire an educator but it is fun to step out of my responsibility driven world and take a brief jaunt into the alternative zone.
Are there any lessons to be learned? Yeah, don't be too obnoxious a Santa or you may get maced, and the ridiculous enmass can seem downright normal. Enjoy.
