Side Tracked: Cross Country Antics

July 1st ~

Are you friggin' kidding me...BART decides to start their strike the day we choose to leave for Florida through SFO. For those unfamiliar with a BART strike, pandemonium and mayhem ensue when BART strikes. Getting to San Francisco and the airport for that matter are major ordeals. Luckily, Nelson, our neighbor, braved the ninety minutes it took to get us to the airport on time. This is not a good portent of things to come for the trip but we choose to ignore the tell tale signs and venture forth.

The flight was not too bad considering the massive amounts of families traveling to the happiest place on Earth. Only ten or so crying babies and none close enough to harsh my vibe.

Lot's of cool cloud cover from the window of the plane!

Our first stop before heading to Titusville, Yosiell's sister in Orlando. A lovely dinner with sis and nieces before heading to Rusty's dad for a day of relaxation before beginning our big adventure across the US of A.

July 2nd ~ Low country boil compliments of Dane, Rusty's dad! Nothing better than a balmy Florida evening enjoying a low country boil. Of course everyone ate way too much crab legs, sausage, shrimp, and lobster tail...I know, sounds awful!

July 3rd ~ A trip back to Orlando and kingdoms, magical and otherwise rising from the swamp...with all of these choices, where do we end up? Harry Potter World, part of Universal Studio, of course. The heat was intense, and the people were everywhere, but luckily there were Butter Beer stands everywhere keeping smiles on miserable families' faces.

Rusty and Yosiell were in Harry Potter heaven and geeked out at every turn. I particularly enjoyed the Jurassic Park ride, the ride threatened to get you wet, but the rain did this particularly well as we sat trapped in our massive boat. Torrential downpour is an understatement for a summer storm raging through, but luckily as is the case with Florida storms, it rained hard and fast and passed before too long.

July 4th ~ A quick trip to Savannah before camping in Northern Georgia for several days. Savannah to me is one of the most beautiful and well preserved towns in the South. We started the day at Narobia's Grits and Gravy Cafe with a hearty breakfast of, you guessed it, grits and gravy. We marveled not only at the simplicity of the menu but at the lack of the San Francisco home made artisan food mark up. For those of you that don't know, everything in SF is artisan made...I think artisan is Bohemian for "groovy hipster premium pricing". Another Southern staple much missed on the left coast is decent biscuits. Narobia of course had lard laden light and flaky pillows of joy for biscuits.

After our extremely heavy farm worker's breakfast, we needed to walk a few pounds off in downtown Savannah. This quirky town certainly did not disappoint. My only complaint is how little time we actually had in Savannah. Enough to wet our appetites for sure.

Spanish moss covered trees...

Savannah just oozing with charm!

Southern gothic at its best...we did not have the time to take this tour...next trip for sure.

The Mercer House, as featured in "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil". on a side note, Paula Dean has replaced this novel as the draw to Savannah. We passed her restaurant and refrained from throwing rotten tomatoes in honor of our African-American friends and for the gays as well, as I'm sure she isn't going to be the Grand Marshall of the Savannah Gay Pride Parade anytime soon.

Revolutionary War Cemetery.

Crepe Myrtles with spanish moss in the cemetery.

The Georgia Queen. Hmmmmmm.

After an afternoon of strolling, we arrived at our camp grounds. Several days of rain, rain and more rain...clothes, camping gear, and our spirits were somewhat damp by the end of this leg of our trip. It was nice connecting with good friends and enjoying drinks by the pool when the sun did emerge. The rain did manage to bring out fireflies in the early evening...a much missed phenomenon since we moved to the left coast.

One day Rusty opted for pool volleyball as Yosiell and I explored the nearby lake. Because of the massive amounts of rain, the lake was near capacity. As does happen on occasion, a lonely mid-forties divorcee struck up a conversation with me as I was waiting for Yosiell to return. She explained that she and her friends just drove from Atlanta to see the Georgia Guidestones..."Oh of course..." I said, asking myself, what the hell are the Georgia Guidestones and why haven't I heard of this mystical and intriguing place. A quick search on wikipedia revealed that the guidestones are a monolithic granite structure outside of the town nearest the campground. Well, a quick stop at a very shady "store" (really just an old carport enclosed to resemble a store) for a few bags of boiled peanuts and we were on our way to the Guidestones...

The Georgia Guidestones...?!?

Timeless message...or something?

I can answer the "What?" of the Georgia Guidestones, it's the "Why?" that I'm having more of a problem with. The Guidestones send a message regarding ushering in an age of reason, an age of democratic worldwide government, and a respect for nature...did I mention these are in Northern Georgia? Elberton, Georgia is the self proclaimed granite capital of the world and the makers of fine granite headstones, so a monument makes sense but the theme of this monument seems a little incongruous with the surroundings. Asking the question "Why?" seems to be what keeps me stopping at these odd roadside attractions. Que Sera Sera!

Creepy headstone...from the granite capital of the world!

July 6th & 7th (AM) ~ Nashville and a visit with Joe and Gail. There is nothing more satisfying than a few hours with someone that you have known since high school. Gail is the type of friend that doesn't really see me for who I am but sees me for who I wish to be. She is certainly a touchstone and someone that grounds me and my life. Her husband Joe is an absolute delight and both are extremely gracious hosts.

Our search for good biscuits continued at the Loveless Cafe. This famous and often lauded restaurant did not disappoint. The bird-head sized biscuits (as opposed to cat-head biscuits) were excellent and paired well with country ham of course.

Lots of Love at the Loveless Cafe.

Farm family cut out (minus the creepy faceless girl in the picture).

Surely transgendered farm boy!

July 7th ~ Chicago Bitches! That's right, we stopped in the windy city for our gritty Chicago experience. Let me grab my switch blade and my kevlar vest before hitting the town...first stop...meeting our friend Jason at a gay bar for sing along show tunes, What?!? Where's the grit, where's the rough trade...

July 8th ~

Maybe Chicago hasn't turned out to be the gritty and seedy city I at first thought. I did walk around in the AM searching for coffee in a strange city and didn't have a single person smile, make eye contact or say a "Hello". Others that have lived in Chicago assured me that I was asking for an impossibility in having people return a friendly response and should just give up on this pleasantry. This is not to say we didn't find any friendly natives, because we certainly had a great time in this fantastic city.

As we were walking around, I couldn't but help to continue thinking of Leslie Anne Warren...

Our day consisted of beautiful walks, museums, fountains, parks and of course a Chicago style hot dog, and deep dish pizza.

Public Art...

The Bean...I know it's iconic and played out, but really fascinating and beautiful.

The Chicago Museum of Contemporary Art was exhibiting a Daniel Cowles retrospective, the graphic novelist and author of Ghost World. He currently resides in Oakland, and this panel pretty much sums Oakland up to a tee.

A highlight was the Architecture Tour on the river. Beautiful views and interesting facts. I didn't know that the skyscraper was invented in Chicago...now you know.

We chose not to check out the Observation Deck of the Willis Tower (formerly the Sears Tower and the second highest skyscraper in the nation). Instead we went to the third tallest building in Chicago, the Handcock...mainly for the Signature Lounge, a bar on the 96th floor. The views are almost the same as the observation deck of the formerly known as Sears tower, but instead of paying money for the admission ticket we spent some cash on fancy martinis and sat in a bar.

Good times, people, good times.

July 10th ~ Fucking Oakland! On my search for gritty Chicago I failed to recognize we've got our own gritty city in Oakland...As we were driving across farm land on our way to Minneapolis, we were reminded that one shouldn't get too comfortable in Oakland...as our house sitter reported that someone tried to break in while she was in bed. She turned on the lights and scared the person away, but this was a truly unnerving experience for her, and quite frankly for us. Rusty decided to cut his part of the vacation short and fly back to Oakland to install window locks and make the house much more secure. This is after on July 4th, someone broke into Yosiell's car in the driveway and made off with his GPS.

It's easy to decry this city for the many problems and hassles. We pay a premium price considering the break-ins, traffic, BART strikes and rioting. Despite these problems the Oakland populace keeps me here. This place is filled with concerned citizens and people that genuinely care about the human condition. San Francisco recently was voted snobbiest city in the nation by Travel and Leisure magazine, no such pretentiousness exists in San Francisco's trashy cousin, Oakland. So, yes, many things suck about Oakland, but despite these problems, Oakland is a diverse city filled with a very caring and thoughtful populace.

Bottom line though is that once we hit Minneapolis, we were sending Rusty back to "Fucking Oakland" and continuing our trip without him. Bummer!

On the way to Minneapolis...Farm land and Prairies...Prairies and Farmland!

What's up with Wisconsin Dells and all of the Water Slides? In fact this entire part of the country seems to have an unnatural fascination with water slides. Gentle readers, any insight into this would be greatly appreciated...

Minneapolis is actually an absolutely lovely city. Chad and Mark, two transplanted Southern friends, were fantastic hosts and showed us around this wonderful Mississippi River city (Yeah, I was surprised that it is on the Mississippi river too).

July 10th ~ Sioux Falls. A desolate place. Movies and Chinese food before bed.

July 11th ~ On the way to Mount Rushmore, oddities galore. The Corn Palace...what can I say about this world famous interior states monument...nothing a couple of pictures can't cover. Yes, we were "Ear"!

The Corn Palace under construction. It will soon be back to its original glorious state.

The Corn Palace interior...beautiful and delicious.

We took a detour through Badlands National Park. this park was actually my most favorite site. I think I could have stayed a few days and hiked a few long Badlands trails.

Wall Drugs. Another midwestern landmark and must see. Largest drugstore in the nation...although I'm not sure they actually sell medications...mostly just tchotchkes and ice cream sodas.

Mount Rushmore - This is a colossal monument and is actually quite wonderful.

We chose to stay for the Mount Rushmore lighting ceremony. Little did we know this would be an extensive ceremony honoring all the current and past military personnel. As Yosiell said, "I feel like I got tricked into going to church." Don't get me wrong I'm all about honoring our military personnel, but I'm not sure an elaborate nightly ceremony is the most appropriate way to do so.

To me patriotism should be a verb and not an adjective. If you want to support current and former military personnel, support medical care and job training for veterans. Support pulling troops out of military conflict zones. Having our personnel stand in front of a huge crowd and announce their name, rank or former rank, and branch of military smacks of the pseudo patriotism for which America is famous.

Flag waving over the top patriotism has never been my style. Less is more people, less is more.

July 12th ~ Camping in Yellowstone! Mosquitoes the size of paper airplanes! Finally Yosiell has had a taste of camping in a dry area. This park is a little like the Disneyland of parks. No attraction is devoid of a line of people and a wait to park the car. Still some amazing sites and wildlife.