This is a city very proud of its liberality and of its acceptance of all people. In stark contrast to this ideology is the fact that Portland ranks in the top three or four of the whitest big cities in America. The lack of diversity was certainly noticeable when walking around and seeing the sites. Don't worry gentle readers, we weren't about to let the straight white man keep us down...
Our first night, Old Town Pizza. We enjoyed a cold beer and a slice or two at a pizza joint that was once the lobby of the Merchant Hotel (est. 1880). The locals believe this building to be haunted by a former prostitute of the hotel, Nina. She is said to have been thrown down an elevator shaft for informing local missionaries about the illegal ventures of the hotel management. She can most often be seen in the tunnels under the hotel but has been known to wander the restaurant as well. The entire restaurant is really indicative of the oddness that is Portland. It is also very indicative of the genuine friendliness we found from all the residents of this hamlet. I'm sure there are assholes in Portland too, but we just happened to meet lots of super nice people.
After a good night's sleep and a hearty biscuits and gravy breakfast at Tin Shed (our favorite breakfast of the trip), we went on a walking tour of the city with an exceptional tour guide. We spent lots of time discussing the seedy beginnings of Portland, including the big personalities of Portland's early residents. Many of the shops and buildings downtown started as large hotels, serving as both bars and brothels to the sailors and lumber jacks in the area. These former hotels have been parceled out into restaurants, stores and offices.
Portland purportedly had Shanghai Tunnels under the Old Town area. Shanghaiing refers to the practice of tricking or intimidating men into being sailors (typically, a young man would be offered a bed, booze, and a prostitute and when presented with a bill he couldn't pay would be conscripted into service or threatened with jail time). The legend is that the tunnels under the city were used to Shanghai sailors. Although these tunnels may have been used on rare occasions for this purpose, the tunnels were actually used to move cargo from different points of the city to the docks. The tunnels were also used as aqua ducts to move water after flooding. As the automobile gained in popularity the tunnels needed to be filled to prevent roadways from caving in.
One of the interesting tales on this tour was the story of Nancy Boggs. The legend has it that Mrs. Boggs ran a floating bordello to avoid the whiskey tax from two different towns sitting on the river that today makes up all Portland. Men taking the ferry from one side of the river to the other could stop off at the floating bordello and enjoy whiskey, women and gambling on the boat. There are plenty of stories about this Floating Palace of Sin and plenty of historians questioning whether the story itself is actually true. True or not, I choose to believe this legend about Portland, the very idea has the makings of a racy novel...
Next stop: VooDoo Donuts, known for their very unusual flavor combinations. The tour guide claims to be close friends with the owner of this now really famous donut place. He said the owner actually started the donut shop for late night drunks to have something to eat. The weird flavors actually started with things like Nyquil donuts (a donut with a shot of Nyquil sitting in the hole), until the FDA put a stop to those shenanigans.
Daytime VooDoo...
Night Time VooDoo, 100 times spookier.
We never got a VooDoo donut as the line was incredibly long with patrons waiting at least 90 minutes. Even Nyquil filled donuts aren't worth a 90 minute wait.
Portland is an odd place with more than a mere hint of bawdiness. Besides the bare all stripper bars (more stripper bars per capita than anywhere in the nation), The Hung Far Low sign is a prime example of this tongue in cheek naughtiness. After the restaurant closed, the sign became quite dilapidated, to the point where the city had it removed for safety reasons. Portland residents were so upset about this that they insisted it be returned. So, repaired and returned it was, and the city now owns the sign. The tour guide mentioned that this used to be all in neon except the Tails part of the word Cocktails. Clever Portlanders, clever.
For the evening, we of course had to support the local past time, we hit the Silverado, a Gay Strip Club. For four bucks, we had the privilege of watching young heavily muscled men dance to house music and drink actually affordable but compared to San Francisco, light pour drinks. It wasn't too long before one of the "talent" spotted us and chatted us up for a bit. His name is Alan, but forever in our minds he will be known as Model Alan (a la Lump Lipshitz). It appears this dancer/conversationalist is also on a breakdancing team, who knew one could breakdance in a g-string (and out of one for that matter). One impressive "dance" move from Alan was a handstand facing the wall with feet up on the wall...while twerking. Oh, to be young, in shape, on drugs (allegedly) and able to twerk. Impressive? Definitely. Sexy? Hmmmmm...we had to tip that back breaking effort. We got out of there without a lap dance and without an STD, for that matter. Good times people, good times.
The next day? Gallery hopping, including Antler Gallery, displaying a great show by Crystal Morey, an Oakland artist. Although the Antler Gallery website highlights pieces from the show, there really is nothing like seeing the entire collection in one room. Susannah Kelly, one of the gallery owners, was exceptionally helpful and friendly, an attitude we've come to expect in this city. Another gallery we visited in the Lloyd section of town was Screaming Sky. The gallery is really more of a shop heavily immersed in the vinyl toy scene, not a note worthy gallery space but awesome vinyls for sale.
For lunch, Bollywood Theatre. Excellent Indian street food with Bollywood movies playing on the screen. Who could ask for more? More weirdness from the city that embraces weird.
We also decided to take the Aerial Tram to enjoy the spectacular views of Portland on the rare sunny day. Everyone promised us that it rains constantly in Portland but lately our luck has been to visit a city and bring a heat wave right along with us.
PDX at our feet!
The Aerial Tram, a mere four bucks for a round trip ride. The most terrifying words on the trams were, "We're about to cross the tower, please prepare for the tower swing." The tram swung fairly significantly at that point...unnerving if one doesn't expect this thrill ride.
One can see many of the bridges in Portland from this vantage point.
Instead of VooDoo donuts we opted for the less crowded and equally fabulous:
Speaking of Bourbon, my absolute favorite part of the trip had to be the Multnomah Whiskey Library. This members only library will allow non members in if every seat isn't reserved already. The key is to get there early before a line forms...that is the one thing about Portland, people do not mind queuing up for food and drink.
The whiskey selection was over whelming to say the least.
We met our former acquaintance and now good friend, Dave, at the library. Initially we had met him at Tom and Becky's wedding, a gregarious and affable man living the PDX lifestyle. I'm a little sorry we didn't see his wife and two kids, but with two teen daughters at home, we were happy to provide a few hours of heavenly respite with bourbon cocktails.
Instead of just bringing us our ordered drinks, the bartender wheeled a cart over to mix our Manhattans and Old Fashions right in font of us. Of course he displayed the understated elegance, professional flourish, and slight disdain one can muster only in an exclusive establishment like this...gentle readers, you know my penchant for this type of top drawer pampering, and quite frankly the drinks weren't much more expensive than cocktails at our local haunts...that's the great thing about living in the Bay Area, everything else seems like a bargain. We spent the rest of the evening bar hopping in the Pearl district, a fairly high end part of town...where are the seedy bars Portland? Next trip for sure!
Our final day in Portland was spent in Washington Park. First stop...the International Rose Test Garden. Acres upon acres of beautiful flowers to wander thorough all to the strummings of a woman playing the harp. This is the reason Portland owns the nickname City of Roses. Can you feel the intensity and the excitement building...all I can say is...Yawn. Unless you are an horticulturalist, I'm not sure the draw. But we checked this off the list of "must see" attractions.
More interesting to us was the Traditional Japanese Garden a few blocks away up the hill a bit.
A massive Zen Garden for contemplation and mindfulness. These types of gardens always make me think of cat litter boxes...
Fancy Koi.
A Japanese Haiku.
For a late lunch, we opted for McMenamins Kennedy School. An old elementary school converted to a hotel, restaurant, bar, brewery, and movie theatre. The multiple bars in this space had school related themes. We opted for the larger boiler room bar...
Pipe fittings seemed to be the overall design concept. The beer was from the brewery located within the school. The snacks ranged from pretzels with an incredible cheese sauce, to cajun spiced tater tots...is there anything better than tater tots and beer.
We spent some time in some of the smaller bars as well, including the detention room (a whiskey and cigar bar), where I sampled a whiskey from the local distillery. We didn't make it to the honor roll bar...but we shall return to this educational edifice when we make a return trip to Portland. The company, McMenamins, have many bars and restaurants, you gotta love a company that takes old historical sites and makes them useful again, while still retaining the spirit of the site.
Well gentle reader, this takes us to the end of our PDX journey. We reluctantly made the ten hour drive home reminiscing about the art, roses, strippers, food, history, and whiskey of Portland. The most impressive part of the trip was the friendly people we met while in this city on the river. Thank you to the people of Portland for making our stay warm and welcoming.
1 comment:
You guys bring sunny days and the "heat"were ever you go
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