After a week and a day, my conscience finally got the better part of me. The shock of the murders in Orlando was giving way to the grisly details reported ad nauseum on Facebook, on the news, and in the press. Here I am, an educator that has built his career on his social justice and equity principles, and I've done nothing in my current district regarding the shootings and the overwhelming sense of despair many of our LGBTQ students must be feeling.
As most of you know, I rarely post anything on this blog about work. This will be an exception and not a new norm.
Upon reflecting on exactly what to do, I tried to put myself in the shoes of our neophytes to the gay community, the baby gay freshman or sophomore at the high school just trying to fit in with others. Hearing the news and seeing the images, our newest recruits must be feeling terrified, alone, and helpless.
My solution was to talk with our superintendent about this and see if he would be willing to send out a message of support...just a short note to the entire district saying that we will continue to support all students against bullying and know that this incident in particular has hit our LGBTQ community. The primary purpose was to reach out to our most vulnerable community, to let our students, parents, and community know that our schools are safe spaces for all of our LGBTQ community.
Our wonderful Austrian secretary, quickly and efficiently found statements sent out by three other superintendents in the area to use as examples for my conversation. Each statement was well crafted, thoughtful, and spoke volumes to the community.
The superintendent asked our Press and Information Officer to craft a statement. I proofed the statement she had crafted, offered a few suggestions, but was overall impressed with her empathetic voice and her ability to really meet the purpose with such heartfelt integrity.
A few days later our PIO stopped by my office and placed the revised copy on my desk. The superintendent had essentially offered his condolences for the tragedy but taken most references to supporting our LGBTQ community out of the message except as one group in a list of protected classes.
Many of you know that rarely do I get angry, but this action caused a strong visceral reaction. I read the letter, processed for a few minutes, and then left the building for fear of saying things very unprofessional. Upon cooling down, I set up an appointment to talk with the superintendent, perhaps I didn't articulate my purpose well enough.
I started the conversation by narrowing the focus to just our LGBTQ students, I explained the world they face on a daily basis based on statistics from GLSEN. The national survey is pretty clear that our kids face more depression, homelessness, and suicides with bullying in schools as a root cause. I also explained that this act of violence in a gay club, a place that is supposed to be a respite from the constant homophobia in America has increased the sense of fear, especially because this happened as most states are celebrating Gay Pride. I also explained that the LA Gay Pride Parade was not sacred as a White Christian Male was caught with explosives and a plan to blow people up. This is the environment our kids face every day.
I also explained that this revised letter did not send a message of support to a group of students in our schools feeling very vulnerable right now. He asked if I knew that the bullying was going on at our High School. I explained that the national statistics are pretty conclusive and when we break this down to the state statistics, California doesn't typically fend any better. I also relayed an incident with a student in our alternative school that is transgendered and has been left homeless, she was living behind the school until staff members discovered this and got her the services she needed.
He went into an explanation how the timing of this message has made it difficult to clear it with the board, we haven't been able to get ahead of the message. He also has said that this isn't about homophobia...I assured him that I am not suggesting to anyone this is about homophobia but about reaching out to our kids.
I followed up by saying, sir, I realize that all of these things may be true, but this message is not meeting our initial purpose, that is why I'm not asking you not to change the message, rather just not send it out. My first instinct is to do no harm and I'm not sure that a message this generalized is doing no harm. Unless we call people to the table, especially the people that were the target of such a heinous act, then we can serve to further marginalize an already under represented and under served population.
He thanked me for having this conversation. I assured him that I would continue to be ab advocate as I believe it to be my moral obligation and quite frankly a matter of life and death for our LGBTQ kids. He said he would bring this issue to the new superintendent and to the board president to begin this conversation.
Please don't think, gentle reader, that I am trying to vilify the superintendent. He is a man who has done many great things for the school district, he at the time was a week and a half away from retirement, and he probably wants to slip away from a 40+ year career without controversy.
Please also don't think this is the first time for me to bring up an uncomfortable conversation with a superintendent. I brought up a similar conversation about messaging around gay marriage with my last superintendent, who chose to send the message, a treatise starting with Thomas Jeffersonian democracy, very convoluted and a full page long ending in a final paragraph about gay marriage sent out at the beginning of July as all were on summer break.
Make no mistake, I am not a superintendent and don't ever intend to be one. It is a very difficult job under appreciated. The decision making process involves many stakeholders, and every message is up for criticism and debate. I guess what surprised me around this issue, was to me this seemed like a no brainer. Our kids are feeling vulnerable and we need to send a message of support in the face of the worst gun related tragedy in history. And yet, even in our little district in the bay area, a place reported to be very accepting, we couldn't manage to accomplish that task. Don't anyone ever fool you into thinking there is less homophobia, racism and sexism in California then anywhere else. Institutionalized 'isms are everywhere, including the liberal bay area.
As I get older, integrity seems to be more and more important as a characteristic of leadership. Maintaining integrity requires having these conversations with leaders. I applaud the leaders that did send out a message to their own LGBTQ communities.
I'm wondering when compassion became a political act, one that needed to be cleared with a board or vetted with a community. To be compassionate means to show compassion always and to do compassionate acts.
I know this was posted on my Facebook, but it is something I read often as it encapsulates the rhetoric I chose to put forth. This is from a local retreat center: Spirit Rock
"In the chaos of violence, senselessness, carnage and despair, we can take care of each other. We can hold each other with the most precious thing we can offer, our compassionate attention. Unwavering, we can love one another without questioning or second guessing any aspect of that love or anyone's life experience or identity. There is great Power in that coming together from wherever we are. In that solidarity with the deepest place of our humanity, we begin to live the truth that the Buddha spoke of: Hate never yet dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate. This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible. We begin to create justice in the only ways possible - through just means. Instead of trading Homophobia with Xenophobia as an insidious pattern of the market economy, instead of displacing and playing off the oppression of one, for the oppression of another, we endeavor to dispel all oppressions for the freedom of all beings. We can only create justice through just means - that is the law, ancient and inexhaustible."
So, gentle readers, please go out and create justice through just means. I'm working to put out love to all to dispel the hate...let this tragedy serve to move each of us toward whatever actions we are capable of and towards things bigger than ourselves.
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