Little Beirut

Legend has it, George Bush Senior touched down in Portland Oregon on Air Force One and refused to leave the plane calling Portland "Little Beirut" for all of the protests and liberal politics.  The legend has since been debunked, and we now know that Bush staffers actually coined the phrase. Regardless, Portland residents wear the nickname with pride, as well as a host of other nicknames including: City of Roses, Stumptown, Bearvana, Rip City, and Bridgetown.  Whatever you call this little town, she opened up her welcoming arms to us for an extended weekend vacation.

This is a city very proud of its liberality and of its acceptance of all people.  In stark contrast to this ideology is the fact that Portland ranks in the top three or four of the whitest big cities in America.  The lack of diversity was certainly noticeable when walking around and seeing the sites.  Don't worry gentle readers, we weren't about to let the straight white man keep us down...

Our first night, Old Town Pizza.  We enjoyed a cold beer and a slice or two at a pizza joint that was once the lobby of the Merchant Hotel (est. 1880).  The locals believe this building to be haunted by a former prostitute of the hotel, Nina.  She is said to have been thrown down an elevator shaft for informing local missionaries about the illegal ventures of the hotel management.  She can most often be seen in the tunnels under the hotel but has been known to wander the restaurant as well.  The entire restaurant is really indicative of the oddness that is Portland.  It is also very indicative of the genuine friendliness we found from all the residents of this hamlet.  I'm sure there are assholes in Portland too, but we just happened to meet lots of super nice people.

After a good night's sleep and a hearty biscuits and gravy breakfast at Tin Shed (our favorite breakfast of the trip), we went on a walking tour of the city with an exceptional tour guide.  We spent lots of time discussing the seedy beginnings of Portland, including the big personalities of Portland's early residents.  Many of the shops and buildings downtown started as large hotels, serving as both bars and brothels to the sailors and lumber jacks in the area.  These former hotels have been parceled out into restaurants, stores and offices.

Portland purportedly had Shanghai Tunnels under the Old Town area.  Shanghaiing refers to the practice of tricking or intimidating men into being sailors (typically, a young man would be offered a bed, booze, and a prostitute and when presented with a bill he couldn't pay would be conscripted into service or threatened with jail time).  The legend is that the tunnels under the city were used to Shanghai sailors.  Although these tunnels may have been used on rare occasions for this purpose, the tunnels were actually used to move cargo from different points of the city to the docks.  The tunnels were also used as aqua ducts to move water after flooding.  As the automobile gained in popularity the tunnels needed to be filled to prevent roadways from caving in.

One of the interesting tales on this tour was the story of Nancy Boggs.  The legend has it that Mrs. Boggs ran a floating bordello to avoid the whiskey tax from two different towns sitting on the river that today makes up all Portland.  Men taking the ferry from one side of the river to the other could stop off at the floating bordello and enjoy whiskey, women and gambling on the boat.  There are plenty of stories about this Floating Palace of Sin and plenty of historians questioning whether the story itself is actually true.  True or not, I choose to believe this legend about Portland, the very idea has the makings of a racy novel...

Next stop: VooDoo Donuts, known for their very unusual flavor combinations.  The tour guide claims to be close friends with the owner of this now really famous donut place.  He said the owner actually started the donut shop for late night drunks to have something to eat.  The weird flavors actually started with things like Nyquil donuts (a donut with a shot of Nyquil sitting in the hole), until the FDA put a stop to those shenanigans.

Daytime VooDoo...

Night Time VooDoo, 100 times spookier.  

We never got a VooDoo donut as the line was incredibly long with patrons waiting at least 90 minutes.  Even Nyquil filled donuts aren't worth a 90 minute wait.  

Portland is an odd place with more than a mere hint of bawdiness.  Besides the bare all stripper bars (more stripper bars per capita than anywhere in the nation), The Hung Far Low sign is a prime example of this tongue in cheek naughtiness.  After the restaurant closed, the sign became quite dilapidated, to the point where the city had it removed for safety reasons.  Portland residents were so upset about this that they insisted it be returned.  So, repaired and returned it was, and the city now owns the sign.  The tour guide mentioned that this used to be all in neon except the Tails part of the word Cocktails.  Clever Portlanders, clever.  

For the evening, we of course had to support the local past time, we hit the Silverado, a Gay Strip Club.  For four bucks, we had the privilege of watching young heavily muscled men dance to house music and drink actually affordable but compared to San Francisco, light pour drinks.  It wasn't too long before one of the "talent" spotted us and chatted us up for a bit.  His name is Alan, but forever in our minds he will be known as Model Alan (a la Lump Lipshitz).  It appears this dancer/conversationalist is also on a breakdancing team, who knew one could breakdance in a g-string (and out of one for that matter).   One impressive "dance" move from Alan was a handstand facing the wall with feet up on the wall...while twerking.  Oh, to be young, in shape, on drugs (allegedly) and able to twerk.  Impressive? Definitely.  Sexy?  Hmmmmm...we had to tip that back breaking effort.  We got out of there without a lap dance and without an STD, for that matter.  Good times people, good times.  

The next day?  Gallery hopping, including Antler Gallery, displaying a great show by Crystal Morey, an Oakland artist.    Although the Antler Gallery website highlights pieces from the show, there really is nothing like seeing the entire collection in one room.  Susannah Kelly, one of the gallery owners, was exceptionally helpful and friendly, an attitude we've come to expect in this city.  Another gallery we visited in the Lloyd section of town was Screaming Sky.  The gallery is really more of a shop heavily immersed in the vinyl toy scene, not a note worthy gallery space but awesome vinyls for sale.  

For lunch, Bollywood Theatre.  Excellent Indian street food with Bollywood movies playing on the screen.  Who could ask for more?  More weirdness from the city that embraces weird.  

We also decided to take the Aerial Tram to enjoy the spectacular views of Portland on the rare sunny day.  Everyone promised us that it rains constantly in Portland but lately our luck has been to visit a city and bring a heat wave right along with us.  

PDX at our feet!

The Aerial Tram, a mere four bucks for a round trip ride.  The most terrifying words on the trams were, "We're about to cross the tower, please prepare for the tower swing."  The tram swung fairly significantly at that point...unnerving if one doesn't expect this thrill ride.     

One can see many of the bridges in Portland from this vantage point. 

Instead of VooDoo donuts we opted for the less crowded and equally fabulous:  

My flavor of choice? Bourbon, Basil, and Blueberry all in one donut.  I was in sugar and brioche Nirvana.

Speaking of Bourbon, my absolute favorite part of the trip had to be the Multnomah Whiskey Library.  This members only library will allow non members in if every seat isn't reserved already.  The key is to get there early before a line forms...that is the one thing about Portland, people do not mind queuing up for food and drink.

The whiskey selection was over whelming to say the least.

We met our former acquaintance and now good friend,  Dave, at the library.  Initially we had met him at Tom and Becky's wedding, a gregarious and affable man living the PDX lifestyle.  I'm a little sorry we didn't see his wife and two kids, but with two teen daughters at home, we were happy to provide a few hours of heavenly respite with bourbon cocktails.


Instead of just bringing us our ordered drinks, the bartender wheeled a cart over to mix our Manhattans and Old Fashions right in font of us.  Of course he displayed the understated elegance, professional flourish, and slight disdain one can muster only in an exclusive establishment like this...gentle readers, you know my penchant for this type of top drawer pampering, and quite frankly the drinks weren't much more expensive than cocktails at our local haunts...that's the great thing about living in the Bay Area, everything else seems like a bargain.  We spent the rest of the evening bar hopping in the Pearl district, a fairly high end part of town...where are the seedy bars Portland?  Next trip for sure!

Our final day in Portland was spent in Washington Park.  First stop...the International Rose Test Garden.  Acres upon acres of beautiful flowers to wander thorough all to the strummings of a woman playing the harp.  This is the reason Portland owns the nickname City of Roses.  Can you feel the intensity and the excitement building...all I can say is...Yawn.  Unless you are an horticulturalist, I'm not sure the draw.  But we checked this off the list of "must see" attractions.

More interesting to us was the Traditional Japanese Garden a few blocks away up the hill a bit.

A massive Zen Garden for contemplation and mindfulness.  These types of gardens always make me think of cat litter boxes...

Fancy Koi.

A Japanese Haiku.  

For a late lunch, we opted for McMenamins Kennedy School.  An old elementary school converted to a hotel, restaurant, bar, brewery, and movie theatre.  The multiple bars in this space had school related themes.  We opted for the larger boiler room bar...

Pipe fittings seemed to be the overall design concept.  The beer was from the brewery located within the school.  The snacks ranged from pretzels with an incredible cheese sauce, to cajun spiced tater tots...is there anything better than tater tots and beer.  

We spent some time in some of the smaller bars as well, including the detention room (a whiskey and cigar bar), where I sampled a whiskey from the local distillery.  We didn't make it to the honor roll bar...but we shall return to this educational edifice when we make a return trip to Portland.  The company, McMenamins, have many bars and restaurants, you gotta love a company that takes old historical sites and makes them useful again, while still retaining the spirit of the site.  

Well gentle reader, this takes us to the end of our PDX journey.  We reluctantly made the ten hour drive home reminiscing about the art, roses, strippers, food, history, and whiskey of Portland.  The most impressive part of the trip was the friendly people we met while in this city on the river.   Thank you to the people of Portland for making our stay warm and welcoming.  

There Be Pirates in Vallejo!

Gentle reader, many of you may not be aware of my fascination with the history and the lore of pirates.  Odd, I know, for someone as grounded as I am to be obsessed with pirates.  My interest started as a fourth grade teacher in North Carolina when every year we would get to the section on Blackbeard and I would "invite" Blackbeard to the class to talk about his life...it was really just me dressed in a Blackbeard costume, don't worry folks, the kids weren't fooled either.  Pretty soon I was roped into talking with the entire fourth grade.

You know how it is gentle reader, you purchase your first pirate book "to supplement your teaching" at an out of the way book store where no one knows you, and pretty soon you've got a collections of 6 or 7 books on the subject...it's a dangerous road to follow friends, "Just say No!"

But who could say "No" to the Annual Northern California Pirate Festival in Vallejo.  Not me, that's for sure.  I now know what the Renaissance Faire performers do in the off season, they attend the Pirate Festival.

These people are pretty annoyingly legit when it comes to the outfits and being in character.  I saw one guy dressed as Blackbeard that would certainly put my costume from my teaching days to shame.  Surprisingly, people not in costume were in the minority.

Pirate Awesomeness! Let the festivities begin. 

Quaint little Sea Shanties, of course four hours of Sea Shanties was a little much...

A converted hover round chair...clever, clever captain. 

This mast was pretty authentic looking for being staked in the ground...

Surly crew members Rusty, Yosiell and Oscar enjoying a brief interlude before the beatings continue.  

After awhile, some started to mix their genres as steampunk pirates arrived and the burner crowd arrived in their Burning Man outfits without even a nod to the theme of the day.  Still, all added to the carnival atmosphere and a good time was had by everyone.  I was hoping the day might be a total wash and help to quell my obsession, no such luck readers, I'm just as obsessed as ever.  

Speaking of outlaws, the 4th of July holiday came and went in Oakland.  We took a bike ride down to Jack London Square, to enjoy the family friendly activities...lots of kids!  

                  

From there we attended a lovely quiet little barbecue at the home of Matt and Tyler, our almost neighbors.  Lots of good food and good company.  

Evening was soon upon us, and we left to go to the fireworks.  We figured a good viewing spot would be Alameda, seeing as how on parts of the island one can see the fireworks at Berkeley Marina and at the SF Embarcadero.   We pulled into a small parking lot facing the giant Oakland cranes and waited for the festivities. 

 

The fog, of course was coming in fast and furious freezing out expectant on lookers and obscuring much of the fireworks displays.  

Unbeknownst to us, this was where all of the local rednecks and outlaws come to shoot off their own fireworks.  The family in the car next to us had purchased $600 worth of fireworks, and were bound and determined to set off every single one.  Pandemonium ensued as one of the dads was holding a firework to shoot off and didn't realize this particular variety had multiple shots in it.  He started to put it down and when it went off again, he dropped it to the ground before picking it up in time to shoot it toward a car full of kids and parents.  Well, it ain't fun until someone loses a body part.  Luckily the paramedics were not needed and all was well that ended well.  

Of course soon after we decided that we wanted to keep all of our body parts and drove home with the self satisfaction of knowing that the biggest rednecks we have ever encountered may not be in North Carolina after all.  

In other June news, Yosiell and two others had a show at Faultline, "Omni, Trium, Perfectum".  Pretty cool stuff, the show is coming down this weekend but Yosiell's pieces will be up on his website soon.  

An instillation of witches...

A piece by Felicia Ann, another member of the Faultline group.  

My favorite piece of Yosiell's in the show...very Creepy-Cute.

Lisa Pisa's pieces.  

Felicia Ann subduing Yosiell.  

It was a great show and received lots of attention from the local art community.  We also went to California Great America for Yosiell's Birthday.  My recommendation?  Visit on a Monday during the summer.  Zero lines for any rides and no crowds.  We certainly enjoyed the water rides.  It was great to be reminded that roller coasters are fun no matter your age.  

It's Snoopy!  

Yosiell, Me, Jaimie, and Rusty enjoying the tallest, fastest (and ricketiest) wooden roller coaster in northern California...Oh, and the little girl in the bottom left hand corner photo bombing us...what's up with that?  

It's time to give a shout out to one of my newest favorite places, the Oakland Museum of California!   On Friday nights, the museum remains open late and sells tickets to the exhibits for half price...but the fun doesn't end there.  Near one of the entrances, the museum hosts a food truck rendezvous, with live music.  There is also a make shift bar, and a few activities for kids.    The crowd is certainly a microcosm of Oakland realness.  It' s a beautiful event celebrating the true diverse nature of our hamlet.  

Food trucks everywhere you look.  

The sun setting from the roof of the museum.  

Inside the museum, a DJ was spinning vinyl records and using instruments made from common household objects to add to the music.  

One of the current shows is:  Super Awesome:  Art and Giant Robot

A piece included from our friend Lee, AKA Leecifur.  Lots of artists interpreted the robot figure...following were a few of my favorites.  

Although all of the selected pieces are great, these are only a small taste of the entire exhibit.  

The museum also offers monthly bike tours.  We attended one such tour and rode around downtown looking at different historical spots.  

  

One of the spots we stopped at was a marker of where the first public school in Oakland stood in 1852.  This humble plaque marks the spot in a little easement between the street and where the BART goes underground.  The spot is very unassuming and is filled with trash and graffiti.  Rather depressing but maybe a good symbol of where public schools in Oakland are now, stripped to the bare minimum.  

One of the reliefs in a doorway of the Civic Center.  The center was built in 1914 in the beaux arts style.  It has housed many different events over the years including in the early years, a KKK rally.  Other events include Ringling Brothers Circus,  a Roller derby team, UC, Berkeley Woman's Basketball, Elvis Presley concert, Martin Luther King Jr. speaking (on the 100th anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation) , the Grateful Dead played here (57 times), and very recently, Occupy Oakland marched on the civic center to reclaim the space for the people (it remains unclaimed).  

Taking the bike tour encouraged me to purchase and read Beth Bagwell's, Oakland, The Story of a City.  It is a very good basic read of Oakland's history and alludes to many of the larger than life characters that helped shape this city, but unfortunately doesn't really dive into the stories that make Oakland interesting.  The Civic Center is a building with an illustrious past and I would love to see someone actually reclaim the space for the people in a productive way...

As you can see, the Oakland Museum has inspired me to find out more about Oakland's humble beginnings blossoming into a major urban center.  Check out the museum, and hopefully you too will be inspired.  

Oakland is a city of extremes and contrasts.  It is always exciting to live in the blue collar center of the bay area.  Enjoy a final picture depicting the dismantling of the bay bridge...I've said it before, this looks like a great opportunity for the General Lee and the Dukes of Hazard to jump the river.  I will always be a child of the 70's sitcom.  

So, my Oaklandish friends and also any future visitors to our city by the bay...check out the local scene, there is a there, there!